The Old Granny Waltz
MP3
Written: 1991
Released: 2003 on
'Fame'
The old granny waltz is danced in threes
Is danced arm in arm is danced to
cream teas
The old granny waltz is danced bag in hand
Is danced to the
tune of an angry young man
And in the old days
They would birch
him
They would church him
They would besmirch him
But not research
him
And then just perch him
On some nice comfy chair
They would beat
him
They would mistreat him
They would crush him
They would defeat
him
They would thrash him
They would bash him
Not just put him in
care
They would use him
They would abuse him
They would frame
him
And then accuse him
And then they'd damn him
And then they'd hang
him
And that would be that
And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And blue rinse
and corsets and all dentures false
Take your humility please for the old
granny waltz
The old granny waltz is danced in twos
Is danced arm in
arm is danced in bus queues
The old granny waltz is danced bag in hand
Is
danced wherever they find a pram
And they oochy
Oochy coochy
Who's
a lovely
Little baby
Who's a sweetie
Who's an angel
Who's a nice
little boy
Who's a lovey
Who love his mummy
What a good boy
And
tickle tummy
And little fingers
And little booties
And mwah mwah mwah
mwah
He's like his mother
Or her lover
Or his brother
Or some
other
Or just another
Poor little bugger
Who'll grow up a mistake
And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And blue rinse
and corsets and all dentures false
Take your hypocrisy please for the old
granny waltz
The old granny waltz is danced alone
Is danced arm in arm
in the armchair at home
The old granny waltz is danced old and
unsure
Until the day she dances no more
And there we shall leave
her
We shall grieve her
We shall let
The Lord retrieve her
As she
will make
That trip we take
To that land far away
Where we know
We
all must go
Up above
Or down below
All depending
On the
ending
You choose to believe
But if you need proof
Of God's
truth
Should you disbelieve
Oh squalid youth
Then just listen
And
you can hear them
Cleaning their clouds
And 1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna
gna
1 2 3 1 2 3 gna gna gna gna
And white wings and halos and all men
rejoice
Take your sanctity please for the old granny waltz
© Philip Jeays 1986